I'm caught

There's no turning back...

I'm really quite well past the point of no return now. Its funny the stuff that goes through your head, and then strange how little that happens in there too. Turkey was a refreshing change to what seemed like a rush through the latter parts of Europe. Having a break for a day before going up Nemrut Dagi was fantastic and nice just to switch off.

Since the beginning of Turkey though there's been a marked change in the amount of meaningful English I've spoken and that change in communications is pretty mental. For a while this was supplemented a little by my really small knowledge of German but things have gotten harder.

Im having longer and longer in my own head to deal with what's happening, people, roads, timings, distances, the bike, the weather, dehydration. The regular conversations with those around when I stop;

Where are you from?
How much does the bike cost?
How fast is the bike?
How far have you come?
Are you alone?

Sometimes followed up with some gesture of being strong or of how stupendous this all seems. Maybe even that for the price of the bike they could get a really good car.

Then there's the sense of how lucky I am. I knew that before I left for the trip but I've no idea about how it must be to live in so many of these locations. Sometimes I feel embarrassed to tell people how much the bike cost when they really do appear to have nothing, and here I am lording it up on a huge holiday. These people seem to be quite trapped.

There's the trap of location. While dealing with the Turkmeni transit guys on arrival they seemed really decent, educated, weren't poor looking at all and we had a chat about visas for all the countries. Having a European, a British passport really is a luxury I took for granted all my life. With a few exceptions if I want to go somewhere I basically arrange a ticket and go. This trip was a bit of a hassle in the sense that I've had to arrange lots of visas but that's just been a bit of time and money.

It's only then that it really dawned on me. I've travelled from the UK, through Holland, Germany, Switzerland, France, Leichtenstein, Austria, Romania, Hungary and Bulgaria having pretty much no border control. That's a phenomenal area and there's no thought involved. To start with on approaching a border I was getting nervous but as times gone on I've had nothing to really worry about.

Another trap I've noticed is the trap of employment. Im free at the moment. Free from the binds of day to day life but at some point in the not too distant future I'm not thinking too hard about I'll have to face reality and think about work again. In looking into emails theres a stream of different job opportunities turning up. As usual a lot of them aren't specifically related to the stuff I did back home but there's so far note of work in Scotland, England and Australia that is relevant. Compare this to the guys and girls on so much of this trip that I drive past. Sitting, doing precious little, or with a small table outside their house with hankies, water, seeds, whatever they can get their hands on. Is it me that will return to a trap or them who are stuck in them?

So as I've spoken before, there's communication. With a little bit of German, a couple of words of Russian and the lack of shame (only done it once so far) to go moooooooo in a cafe to get beef, I've gotten by. Until the Chinese take over the world then English is a really handy language because a great many people world wide who get an education learn a little at least. Interestingly the ex Soviet states are reverting back to historical languages and for a great many there's a Turkic influence, with hindsight I would maybe have tried to learn a little Turkish before starting though simple stuff like water being Su, Suw, or Suv keeps you going.

What's been driven home to me time and time again here is that I don't have the traps of restricted mobility, language, employment - or lack thereof. There's the associated money that comes with employment and I guess a relatively open mind that's allowed me to get going on this adventure has freed me from some of the mental traps that may have stopped me leaving.

Anyway, there I was, not much more than a week ago at the time of writing this and I felt trapped. I was sat on board the Professor Gul off the coast of Turkmenistan. My Azeri visa was now expired, my Turkmeni visa I was told in the harbour was likely not to be accepted. The ferry arrived off the coast in the early morning. All my clothes were in the panniers attached to the bike in the hold, to which I had no access and I was there another day and a half. All I had read about this service was grim with no food, long delays and horrid conditions. Yet my trip held conditions no worse really than some of the older oil platforms off the coast of Scotland. The food in the cafe on board being better than experienced on occasion offshore. The staff were as friendly as your usual offshore mix and I even got half cut the first night with the radio operator (unlike offshore). I wasn't trapped.

Likewise on trying to leave Turkmenistan when after three hours waiting I was told that the border was closed. For a moment I felt trapped there, especially given some strange experiences the night before. In reality I got into a cheap, comfortable hotel after a little drive. Then I got over the border more or less hassle free the next day. I wasn't trapped.

I know from personal experience that everyone can feel trapped. That there is no way out. That there are no real choices. My life back home wasn't perfect and I've not always made the right decisions but I'm not trapped and I never have been. In fact life in the UK is really not bad, it's a shame that not everyone in the world has the same choice, the same opportunities and although some live in the most fantastic locations I'm not going to swap any of it.

Be nice if Scotland had a half decent football team to talk about while the world cup is on though.