All change

What did I expect from this trip? I'm not sure, I still dont and it's not over yet. Not by a long shot. I did think on a lot of occasions about people saying that 'they need to find themselves'. I've never understood that. I've always been where and who I am with a very uncertain future, not in a bad sense but only in the sense that I don't know what tomorrow brings.

So here I am, heading towards the date line, LAX then Seattle on a Singapore Airlines 747-400 listening to the Cooper Temple Clause really quite loudly after eating the Japanese selection dinner and drinking a few glasses of wine following a stiff G&T. That's today.

But what does TOMORROW bring...

I'm not sure. It's part of my uncertain future. There's people reading this, don't know how many but I know there's some, who don't know me. For those who do then I guess over the next short while you will get to know Lisa, someone I got to know quite well in Uzbekistan and who I hope will be a more certain part of my future.

Now I remember speaking to a few people, not many, about how the trip might pan out in respect of how I might feel at different points. I had thought that Japan might feel like a bit of culture shock as it's kind of western yet very different, with a hugely different language and style of writing. Lisa told me that her thoughts on the topic were that Japan will be a continuation of all that's been happening for me over the last few months (there's four of them!) and that it's going to be North America that's going to hit me as strange.

I have to be honest say that Japan has came and gone. It feels like part of the trip. It also seems strange to have been part of someone else's trip with the rutasamurai boys but it's still been part of the trip. What has hit me tonight is that I'm back on familiar territory on a plane and that feels like a shock.

I'm on the lower rear section of the plane and for anyone familiar with South Park I feel like Token. Not that it's strange to feel like the only westerner in a space but it's a familiar space for me and I do feel strange. I can speak more than broken English though and Ive had my first drink of wine in nearly four months. I've had a choice of foods described really well in English as well. At the minute it's hitting me hard and I know that tomorrow will hit me really hard too. I didn't give Lisa credit for how this might feel but it is real and it's now. I can only imagine that tomorrow will be another blow as I land in Los Angeles before Air Alaska takes me north to Seattle.

America isn't new to me. Between skiing holidays, effectively drinking holidays and then time at kids camp it's not going to be too strange. I've also had an urge for years to visit Marlboro Country following being sucked into advertising campaigns. What is going to be new at this moment in time is the mode of transport.

I've had people say to me both on a positive and negative note that I don't do anything without having a good think about it first, yet on other occasions I know I can be hellishly impulsive. I guess that's like my belief that I'm incredibly shy and nervous yet can sit in all manner of situations and confidently make a fool of myself or speak out. Getting to the point, the biggest change for the next while for me is going to be the transport and this choice had to be made quickly.

My lack of planning, impulsive grab on some information and stubborn determination led me to Japan. I drove to Japan. On a motorbike. Pretty much single handedly and on my own, believing that I'll find a way round any problems that turn up. This approach brought me to an expensive dead end where the prices for taking the bike to North America didn't stack up and the time I have left before getting really worried about paying the mortgage back home was running out.

In the end I took the decision to ship the bike back by sea freight from Japan to Scotland and rent a car to get me to my destination in New York. This change is eating at me at the moment and Im not happy in so many ways. In a sense I feel that I've failed, I set out to ride around the world and due to a time and expense factor I've made a monumental change.

There have however been a few defining moments of the trip in the last few days (or at least in close proximity it feels that way). One is sitting in Starbucks in Roppongi Hills the other day looking back through photos on the camera with the immense rush of memories crashing back through through me every time I hit to see the next photo. Another is this very flight and the changes and feelings it's bringing to me. Also there have been a couple of occasions today where I realize I'm still planning a huge road trip through America which will allow me to say I've driven around the world, allow me to see the Pacific Coast Highway and Route 66 and visit a wealth of places on the way.

I also remember back to my last biggest spell out from the world of work which was six weeks and it felt great other than some stress with a family illness. I've still got six weeks left of this trip before hitting the real world again and that's way beyond most peoples expectations of a holiday on it's own.

So here I am with changes in lifestyle, work, transport, finance, continent, understanding of the world amongst so many other things and now I'm really only moments away from the date line according to the airplanes moving map.

It's time for more changes any minute. Ill satisfy myself for now with an old habit from working overseas of dropping off to sleep with Snow Patrol playing very loudly to help me face rest and another day on what is, and will stay a fantastic trip. That's if I can avoid asking for another wine on the way back from the toilet.

PS - failed with the wine...

Location:Heading toward the date line